Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Horus Loves You

Today, the search for knowledge is much simpler than it ever used to be. With the help of the World Wide Web, anyone can access the greatest of libraries from the comforts of their own home. So since you have that capability, take some time to study the true root of Christianity, by looking 1,300 years before Jesus came around and Egyptians were worshipping a man named Horus. In fact, if you believe that ANYTHING that Jesus did in the bible was special, you owe it to yourself to read about Horus. Their stories are identical, and everything that Jesus did had previously been done. Allow me to share the comparisons:

Horus was born of a virgin. So was Jesus.
Horus was the only begotten son of the god, Osiris. Jesus was the only begotten son of the god,Yehovah.
Horus’s mother was named Meri. Jesus’s mother was named Miriam (Mary).
Horus’s foster father was named Seb (Jo-Seph). Jesus’s foster father was named Joseph.
Horus was born in a cave. Jesus was born in a stable.
Horus’s birth was heralded by an angel. The same with Jesus.
Horus’s birth was signaled by a star in the sky. The same with Jesus.
Horus’s birth was witnessed by local shepherds. The same with Jesus.
Horus was visited by 3 solar deities. Jesus was visited by 3 kings.
Horus had a death threat by a man named Herut. Jesus had a death threat by a man named Herod.
There is no record of Horus’s life from ages 12 to 30. The same with Jesus.
At age 30, Horus begins his ministry. The same with Jesus.
Horus is baptized in a river. The same with Jesus.
Horus was baptized by Anup the baptizer, who was later beheaded. Jesus was baptized by John the baptizer who was later beheaded.
Horus is tempted on a mountain by Set. Jesus is tempted on a mountain by Satan.
Horus had 12 disciples. The same with Jesus.
Horus performed miracles including healing the sick, casting out demons, walking on water, giving sight to the blind, calming the raging sea and raising the dead. The same with Jesus.
Horus was transfigured on a mountain. The same with Jesus.
Horus gave a key address, known as the Sermon on the Mount. The same with Jesus.
Horus was executed by crucifixion. Sound familiar yet? The same with Jesus.
Two thieves were executed with Horus. The same with Jesus.
After his death, Horus descended into hell. The same with Jesus.
On the third day, Horus rose from death. The same with Jesus.
Horus obtained the title of KRST, which means “the anointed one”. Jesus obtained the title of Christ, which means “the anointed one” (by the way, contrary to popular belief, “Christ” was not Jesus’s last name).
Horus was also known as “the good shepherd”, “the lamb of god”, “the bread of life” and “the son of man”.
The same with Jesus.

Amazing, isn’t it? To think that there were actually two guys in history and religion who did the exact same things in every aspect? Even the names of people they interacted with were the same. Yet Horus well precedes Jesus and was even worshipped in the time of Moses. Does anyone else smell bullshit emitting from the bible? Perhaps its time to start producing t-shirts and bumper stickers stating “Horus Saves”.

Horus is not the only deity who precedes Jesus and has similar life aspects. Through a little study, one find many deities from Greek, Egyptian and Hindu (among others) religions that were born of virgins and crucified for the sins of man. The point being, just because your families favorite book claims something is fact, does not make it so. It is even quite possible that there never was such a man named Jesus.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Judge Not?

JUDGE NOT?
Far too often, I hear the phrase “don’t judge me.” It’s time to set aside self-righteous ideologies and begin looking deep within human nature to see reality and forget foolish sheep-monitoring dogma. I would like to set straight the reasons that judgment is not only natural, but it is also necessary.

“Don’t judge me” is the miscreant’s mantra that is based in Christian theology. This is ironic, as Christians tend to be most judgemental people on the planet. They judge everyone and everything that they’re unfamiliar with or are afraid of. They judge homosexuals, pro-choice voters, Muslims, Jews, Democrats, Wal-mart, soldiers who die for the Christian’s right to bitch about those soldiers, Ozzy Osbourne, purple Tele-tubbies, you name it. Then they easily pass the buck to their God, saying it’s he who judges these people.

The fact is, judgment is indeed natural. We all do it on a daily basis. I recently attended a children’s sporting event to watch and support my daughters. There was a man attending who was stumbling drunk (this is on a Sunday afternoon). I quickly judged him as a disgusting, pathetic waste of life and was certain to keep my kids away from him. This is one simple example of a judgment. A judgment is nothing more than forming your own opinion of a person. These judgments are necessary to protect ourselves, our loved ones and our way of life.

I judge the man who cuts me off in traffic as an irresponsible asshole. I judge the customer who complains about my prices as cheap white-trash (or black-trash) who’s looking for a handout, rather than appreciating quality work. I judge the man on the radio who sings with a southern twang as a dumb, inbred, NASCAR-watching sister-fucker. That may seem a harsh judgment, but what do I care? My judgments are my own and are to preserve my way of life.

And I know that many people judge me on a daily basis as well. I seem to be quite talented at offending someone new each day on Facebook, usually some religious fanatic. They judge me to be an arrogant, blasphemous, hell-bound asshole. Oh my, how will I sleep at night? Most likely, I’ve already judge them as ignorant, unsophisticated morons.
We all judge, and it is important to do so. We even appoint people to judge our criminals for us, and we call them JUDGES! Without judgment, murderers would roam free, talent shows would have no victors, and fat chicks would be employed at Hooters.

If you are one to complain about people judging you, then ask yourself why? Why do you care? If something that they said about you really bothers you that much then you obviously see the same defect in yourself that they see and are sensitive about it. Perhaps you should try to fix it rather than fighting via words from ancient books. My favorites are the popular “Only God Can Judge Me” tattoos, usually very popular with incarcerated criminals who have, quite apparently, already been judged. Talk about delusional.

Jesus said, “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” I say we let these words rot with his flaccid corpse. Judge great, judge often, and judge harshly. Don’t forget to judge yourself, to be the best version of yourself that you can be. But continue judging those around you to maintain your ultimate lifestyle and to protect yourself. Don’t fool yourself. Every time you walk outside of the safety of your own abode, the world is judging you.

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Pseudo-Satanist

Undoubtedly, the word “satanist” had been around since about 5 minutes after the word “Satan” came to be. But make no bones about it, the term “Satanist” as a recognized individual of the established organization/religion came into existence from Anton Lavey and the Church of Satan. There are plenty pseudo-satanic groups that you can find on the internet who will claim pre-existence to the Church of Satan, boasting their pretentious and fictional bullshit of how their teachings were handed down by the “ancient ones“, perhaps even the devil himself. Their facade of a religion is usually composed of dorks who spent more time focused on Dungeons & Dragons in high school than they did on girls. (For the record, I enjoyed Dungeons & Dragons, but pussy was always priority #1) Sometimes they are organized by former members of the Church of Satan, who were disillusioned when they realized that the Satanic Bible wouldn’t help them to conjure up demons to smash their enemies for them, or aid them in gaining entrance to the elusive vagina. When reality sets in, rather than seeing the obvious, that they are losers and will always be losers, they opt to go their own way and form a new organization, where they can be a king surrounded by other losers, as well as fat chicks.

Upon establishment, the pseudo-Satanists will begin by concocting a story of how they were secretly entrusted with the true history and knowledge of Satanism. Then starts a campaign of Lavey-bashing and how he isn’t a real Satanist. (Isn’t that odd? The inventor of Satanism? Not a real Satanist?) They become a walking manifestation of escapism fueled by a creative imagination, faithful and gullible followers, and the influence of one-too-many horror films. They intend to strike fear into the hearts of man when they call upon the name of Beelzebub! Oh, the horror.

In the Christian realm, a former pseudo-Satanist will gain much praise and attention from church-goers when he tells the congregation of his former life as a Satanist priest! Have you ever noticed that they all used to be Satanists priests?? You never hear some evangelist claim, “I was once a Satanist deacon” or “I was a Satanist altar boy”. Watch Bill Mauher’s “Religilous” sometime. On top of being a great movie, you’ll notice that at one point, as Bill is questioning the members of a truck-stop church, one of the truckers claims to have been a former Satanist priest, as if that is a title that they hand out upon becoming a member.

When I was growing up in a Christian family, most of our entertainment had to be Christian-related. We didn’t listen to secular music so we listened to albums by Amy Grant, Keith Green and other Christian artists, including a record by an evangelistic comedian named Mike Warnke. As far as Christian comedians go, this guy was really famous. He started his ministry in 1973 with a book he released called The Satan Seller, in which he claimed to have been a former satanic “High Priest”. He described being part of orgies, rapes and summoning demons. Fortunately, God saved him. He went around the country telling his tale to full houses of believers and eventually obtained a career as a Christian comedian/evangelist whose testimony won thousands to Christ. Oddly enough, it was a Christian magazine that started an investigation into Mike’s life in the early 90’s and discovered that it was all bullshit. He had made it all up. These fabricated stories of former Satanist priests are all too common in evangelism. Allow me to share with you how this comes to pass.
First, you start off with an average dork. He is socially inept. He never fits in with the cool kids. He lacks confidence in himself. He’s never kissed a girl. No matter what he does, he is never accepted. A dork is born a dork, and almost never overcomes his social handicap.

But then one day, after a life time of wanting somewhere to fit in, he is invited to church by some local Christians. They tell him that God will accept him, just as he is. They always say that but its obviously bullshit. The first thing you have to do to get into heaven is change your beliefs and repent. They never tell queers that God accepts them as they are (word on the streets is, God hates fags). But I’m getting off track. Anyway, our dork finally sees an opportunity at social acceptance. So he joins the church and gets involved in every area of church that he possibly can. He tries and tries, but still feels as though no one is paying any attention to him. And that is because they aren’t. I recall that even as a Christian, I was annoyed by dorks, as were many of my old Christian friends. But if that particular dork is observant, he will notice that even amongst Christians, everyone loves a good horror story. If you don’t believe me, just observe the attendance of any church throughout a year‘s time. Notice how whenever they do a study on or watch a movie on Satanism, the attendance reaches its maximum. It never fails. Those people want to hear about all that spooky stuff too; especially the rape parts. Now that’s exciting!

The dork notices this phenomenon. As someone who has been invisible to the congregation for so long, he now knows how to gain their attention. So one day, our dork is in a small group in church and they’re all discussing how they “came to know the lord”. When it comes to the dork’s turn, he gains the attention of everyone in the room by saying, “I was once a Satanist priest…” Suddenly, everyone is interested in him. Everyone in church wants to hear his story, and they want everyone else to hear it too (so they don’t seem like the only perverts around). Before you know it, he’s adored by churches everywhere, as he is asked, time and time again, to tell his tale. People become saved by his lie, so he is able to justify it to himself.

Satanism is great for the church because it gives them a physical devil to be afraid of. I used to love going to church as a kid on that day of the year when they would show the movie about how Satan was using heavy metal music. It was the only way I could hear some of my favorite bands! I remember hearing how Satanists would stalk the high school hallways, looking for the unpopular kids who were lonely and didn’t fit in, and how they would try to recruit them. It never occurred to me that that is actually a Christian tactic. “God will accept you as you are.” The truth is, Church of Satan does not recruit. Unlike Christianity, we Satanists do not believe Satanism is for everyone, and if you’re not clever enough to find it on your own, you are most likely not welcomed anyway.

Pseudo-Satanists are growing in number everyday. The internet allows for so much pretentiousness that anyone can start a club and say that they are the true originators of Satanism. Pseudo-Satanists want you to be scared of them, thinking that they have some power over you. They dress extra scary, and use as many frightening symbols as possible. They give themselves names of demons on their online profiles, as well as titles such as High Priest. But they are not truly scary, for they look like what the average person thinks they should look like, and once its anticipated, its no longer scary. I was always one to dress in all black and have long hair, even as a Christian. Its just my style. I don’t wear black because its evil. I wear black because its sleek and sharp, and it comes in handy that black has a bit of a slimming effect.

Recently I cut my hair short and tossed out most of my heavy metal concert t-shirts, and went shopping for some nicer clothing. I even added some color, including a bit of white. I dress a bit more upscale now, sharper and more sophisticated. People ask me why the change and my response is simple. Because I don’t want to be predictable. Let me put it to you another way. Think of a really good suspense/thriller movie. From the beginning of the movie, you are trying to guess who the killer is, but in a well done movie, its always the character you never thought it would be. Its always the nice, friendly clean cut guy. Then, there is the guy who you did expect to be the bad guy. He had long hair and was greasy and big. He had the look of a killer but he turned out to actually be a good guy. That’s when we see what is truly scary; when the outcome doesn’t go with the plan. Pseudo-Satanists are so obvious that its ridiculous and you can hardly take them seriously. But when you meet the nice clean-cut man, who seems so courteous and intelligent, you will find yourself confused when I unbutton the top button on my shirt and reveal the Sigil of Baphomet around my neck (that’s the goat head pentagram for the satanically challenged). Now they are truly afraid, for I have not stuck to their plan. They are in unknown territory, and the common man must demonize all that he does not know or understand.

We, the truly Satanic, the truly elite, will never follow the plan of mainstream society. However, we will not necessarily be so obvious as the pseudo-Satanist. Perhaps, its time for pseudo-Satanists to embrace their true selves and return to their original title, “Nerds”. It would definitely alleviate much confusion.

As for the former pseudo-Satanists who are ever so popular in the Christian world, I suppose they will always be around as long as their religion remains. After all, their religion would crumble without an enemy to fight. In order for their god to be real, his foe must be real. In order for the devil to be real, he must have followers in the flesh for the Christians to point fingers at. It is an essential fact, so that the Christians may view themselves as being “not so crazy after all”! But we are quite comfortable with being your “scape-goats”. In fact, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, we’re quite fond of goats.

Those, who are wise, will see through the bullshit. Those, who fall for the pseudo-Satanists trap, will not be missed.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Life's Not Fair

“Life’s not fair” is a commonly used phrase. But it is actually not accurate. Life, or nature, is unaware of the term “fair”. “Fair” is a human concept, created by weaker people in an attempt to level an un-level playing field; the same sort of people who believe that all men are created equally. As a Satanist, I see life, or nature, with an undefiled view of reality rather than painting a fantasy world overtop of all that I see. This viewpoint may make me sometimes seem cold, heartless or unsympathetic, but I would say it merely makes me a realist.

Years ago, I was privileged to see true nature in action. While working in a factory, I was taking my 15 minute break outside the warehouse doors and enjoying the warm spring day. In the yard was a fenced off, electrical substation, in which, a mother rabbit had nested and was now caring for her babies. As I watched, a pair of crows were above the substation and looking for a meal. The crows worked together as a team, diving down at the babies from different angles, while the mother rabbit continuously ran back and forth in an attempt to protect her babies. Eventually, the crows got a hold of one of the babies and flew off to feed. To this day, I’m still not sure if it was the baby rabbit or the mother rabbit that I heard screaming, but it was an awful scream.

Within me there was some sadness, for certainly I could understand how awful it would be to lose a child, or the horror of being carried off by a larger beast only to be fed upon. But I was also filled with awe and wonder. It occurred to me, however, that this was not an isolated incident in nature, but rather, it was only rare for me to witness such an occurrence. The fact of the matter is, incidents such as these happen every day in nature. Had the crows not succeeded in their mission, they and their children could be the ones to suffer. So while the word “fair” may not be familiar to nature, a factor that is always consistent in nature is balance.

Life continues on, the way it should, in nature because of the system of balance. The population of each species is generally controlled by another species. When the population becomes too great, reaching beyond the control of the predators, other catastrophes will assume the predatory role, such as disease and starvation. If the animals who feed upon the rabbits cannot do their job, the numbers of the rabbits become too great and they consume all of their natural resources far too quickly. The result is slowly starving bunnies everywhere. There’s only one species on the planet that does its damnedest to fight nature, and that is humans. But in the end, nature always prevails.

As human beings continue to try to find new ways to extend their lives, and the lives of others, nature must find new ways to knock us down. New diseases, earthquakes, tsunamis and starvation are rampant these days, but they are also necessary. So when some relief agency commercial asks me to send money to starving children in Africa, I see a more realistic viewpoint. If these organizations are so eager to make a difference in the lives of these people, they should be sending birth control.

I’m not unsympathetic to someone who does all that they can, all that they must, to provide for their children. I do understand, and I will do all that I must for my own. But those who believe that we should love everyone in the world, they are making a foolish gesture. I cannot afford love for everyone, and to even attempt so would be very damaging to my psyche when faced with the realities of nature. I can only afford love for my own; those closest to me, who I deem my family and friends.

Life is not fair in accordance with the human definition, but it is fair in the sense of balance. For every new life created, there needs to be a death. For every light, there must be dark. For every good, there must be bad. Such is the way of life.